4 Ways to Detach from the Hustle

Do you know who you are outside of the roles you play and the work you do?

So many of us tie our identities to our jobs, how we serve others and what role we play in our families but we rarely can pinpoint who we are outside of that.

It’s something we’ve all learned to do and hustle culture is a big part of what taught us this way was the right way.

While it can provide some comfort and sense of worth to tie our identity to what we do, more often than not it can leave us feeling like something is missing. We can be great at what we do and still not be in tune with who we really are and feel like we need to keep searching for more.

It’s not our fault that we have this viewpoint. The need to work to afford basic survival has invited all of us to intertwine who we are with what we do. It’s deeply ingrained into us that we must make money doing something we are good at. It’s programmed into our minds that the more work we do, the more we contribute to society, the more productivity we fit into a day- is what makes us a worthwhile person.

We’ve all been taught this idea since we were little and even worse we’ve been taught to judge others based on how much they contribute.

I remember when I first heard the words “be a productive member of society.” It came out of my mother’s mouth as she watched someone hand their Medicaid card to a healthcare worker. She said it with such disgust, as if that person wasn’t a productive member of society. I was less than school age and remember wondering to myself why someone must see you as a productive member of society. As I got older being productive and a contributing member of society became an expectation. Teachers, trusted adults, guidance counselors, friends and bosses all emphasized productivity to the point that I confused it with worth.

Everyone I work with in healing sessions has also had some beliefs around productivity and worth that were ingrained in them. After years of seeing this show up in my life and many other people’s lives it made me realize that we are effectively groomed into this idea of the hustle being the only way to be worth something.

We’ve been taught to be good little workers, cogs in the wheel and with very little reprieve. We’ve been taught that working hard is what gets you there. We’ve been taught that if you don’t have what you need or want, you have to work harder to get it.

It’s an attitude we’ve all somewhat adopted and it’s one we all have to unlearn.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of internal objections you’ll encounter as you begin to detach from the hustle but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. In fact, it’s almost proof you should. Our minds are our biggest obstacles because they are easily conditioned and manipulated. Our brains are programmed to operate based on what feels safest. Since we’ve all been taught that working hard gets you money and therefore keeps you alive, it’s not a simple task to just cut out the hustle.

Truthfully, it is difficult. It is difficult to unlearn those ideas and to step away from the need for money and hustle. After all, we’ve been taught that more money equals more happiness and less stress, which is something all of us not only need but desire on a deep soul level.

Do you believe that more money will make life easier for you?

If you do, it’s likely you’re also attached to the hustle and maybe even attached to the pride that comes with the hustle.

Ever heard someone boast about how many hours they worked or that they worked 3 jobs to pay off their debt? They are so proud of having to work that hard to meet their basic needs. They are so proud of their work ethic and also proud of their hustle.

Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being proud of what you’ve accomplished but it’s important to look at the accomplishment you’re proud of and see if it was for you or how others perceive you because the hustle will have you believing that your hard work for someone else and toward a society given goal is something to be proud of.

It’s all part of the conditioned ideas we’ve all been force fed about productivity, the hustle, our identity and what it’s worth. Think about two different people for a moment, a stay at home parent and a Wallstreet Banker. What do you think of the two of them? Who do you see as having more respect? What about between a doctor and a nursing assistant? A food service worker and a teacher? Who do you think is seen as more knowledgeable and more worthy of a living wage? It’s these kinds of ideas that are inside of us and make us keep striving to do more to be worth more and to be seen as having value.

The hustle is something we’ve been taught works but if we look around us the evidence, although anecdotal, is abundantly clear. Parents are unable to show up for their kids in the way children need them to because they are hustling. Many people don’t have time to breathe, meditate or take care of themselves because they are hustling. The average family can’t find the time to cook or play together because of the hustle. Rest is virtually non-existent because of the hustle and the rest that we do get is still consuming content or media because the hustle also exploits our fears of not being seen or not being part of something.

It isn’t the way but with something so deeply ingrained into us, how do we get out of it?

Detaching from the hustle

Detaching from the hustle is a process. It’s not something you can quit cold turkey and it won’t be seen as something you should do by many of the people around you. Choosing to detach from the hustle is a radical act of resistance and trust me, it feels like it too. You’ll question yourself time and time again. You’ll worry about things not going right and you may even feel like an outsider — but in the end it will all be worth it. You’ll have what you need and won’t feel the constant drive to do more to have more. It’s a freedom that we were taught doesn’t exist and so it will feel foreign. That doesn’t mean you should go back to the hustle though. Instead push past the discomfort and really focus on these 4 ways to detach from the hustle.

Deconditioning your ideas

Deconditioning is a huge part of detaching from the hustle. Since we’ve been conditioned to believe in the power of the hustle we have to decondition those same ideas. This looks like challenging our beliefs around what makes us worthy, how much work we have to do to be considered productive and even our ideas of what is productive. For example, Rest is productive, maybe even the most productive thing we can do, but we’ve been taught to think it isn’t. When you decondition your ideas around productivity and the hustle you have to really dig in and challenge the ideas you’ve held for most of your life.

Go inward

Going inward to Self reflect provides a path for the deconditioning process to follow because these beliefs live inside our inner dialogue. Reflecting on the messages you tell yourself around what you should be doing or what you need to get done before you can rest is a really great way to uncover some of these conditioned beliefs you may have. When you’ve uncovered them, it’s hard to un-see them and that’s what we want. You’ll want to go inward and observe the thoughts that come up when you’re trying to rest or do less.

It isn’t just your thoughts that you need to go inward and take a look at either. Many of us may get a visceral, or body, response when we are trying to rewire these ideas. To capture a full picture of the story you are telling yourself, you’ll also need to dig into the way your body feels when you are trying to rest. Often you’ll feel a recoil or an uncomfortable feeling somewhere in your body. That’s ok, remember these ideas are deeply rooted and tied to us feeling safe so your body may reject the notion that it’s ok to rest and instead favor the hustle. Pay attention to that and learn to observe those body signals as closely as you do your thoughts because they provide valuable insight into the conditioned ideas around the hustle that you have internalized over the years..

Gratitude for abundance you have

Since these conditioned ideas around the hustle can leave us stuck in a place of lack, many of us feel like we don’t have enough or aren’t doing enough to get enough. This is another one of those thought patterns we want to rewire but it can be hard if we have ideas about abundance that make it feel tied to money. Abundance is so much more than money and that’s where finding gratitude for what you do have can help you change the feelings of not having enough or being enough to get it. Abundance is about having enough to survive and with the bills piling up it may seem like you don’t have it but if you take a moment or two to really think about the abundance you do have, you may be surprised how it will help you shift your perspective on the hustle.

Do you have working legs? Lungs that breathe air in and convert it to fuel for your body? Do you have access to resources, even if they feel impossible to get? Do you have support or someone you can ask for help? Do you have food to eat or a food bank to get it from? Are you able to prepare the food and eat it? Do you have a working digestive system? What about a liver or heart that keeps you able to live? These things are all abundance too and detaching from hustle means you’ll have to start seeing them that way.

Grounding in the present

Grounding into the present moment can help you really find that gratitude you need to shift your perspective on abundance. Truthfully, in every present, right now moment we all have everything we need to survive. Conditioning from society has taught us we need more than we do and also that we have to go out and work hard to get it. However, if you just take a second, one single breath and look at that present moment, you have what you need. Grounding into that moment can really allow you to feel like you have all that you need even if other things in other moments have been weighing you down. Feeling into that can really help you find gratitude and detach from the hustle.

We’ve all attached to the hustle and the suffering it brings in different ways. Some of us are more tied to it than others so your process of detaching from it will look different than everyone around you, and that’s ok. What’s truly the most important is that you’ve made the choice to question your ideas around the hustle and decided to embrace another way to get your needs met.

It’s a radical act of trust in your Self and the universe to make that choice and I know that is difficult. I guide people through this journey everyday and know that it presents just as many challenges as it overcomes but on the other side of the hustle is liberation from the oppressive systems we all face. I truly believe that if we each do our part to detach from the hustle we will see the New World we all desire emerge.

Are you ready to do your part?